people wonder why the call centre guys r paid so much
TAKE A LOOK
Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on
the Open Desktop."
Customer : "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you
see a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what
you have done up until this point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click'
and I wrote 'click'."
----------------------------------------
Customer : "I received the software update
you sent, but I am still getting the same error
message."
Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it
to get it to work?"
--------------------------------------------------
Customer : "I'm having trouble installing
Microsoft Word."
Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and
tell me what it says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore
and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup
disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."
--------------------------------------------------
.Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your
software?"
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)
--------------------------------------------------
Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand
side of the screen, canyou see the 'OK' button
displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen
from there?"
Tech support : ##### ***
--------------------------------------------------
Tech Support : "What type of computer do you
have?"
Customer : "A white one."
Tech support : ******_____####
--------------------------------------------------
. Tech Support : "What operating system are
you running?"
Customer : "Pentium."
Tech support : ////-----+++
--------------------------------------------------
Customer : "My computer's telling me I
performed an illegal abortion."
Tech support : ??????
--------------------------------------------------
Cus tomer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Tech Support : ?!%#$
--------------------------------------------------
Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"
Tech support : ??????
--------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's
a problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
--------------------------------------------------
. Tech Support : "What does the screen say
now?"
Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support : "Well?"
Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"
Tech support : *** ---- ++++
--------------------------------------------------
customer care officer:I need a product
identification number right now and may I help u in
finding it out?
Cust: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find
'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I
find your computer?
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette
out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, nothing happens, it must be
really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it
yet...it's still on my desk... sorry .
>>>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the
left of the screen.
Customer: Is that your left or my left?
>>>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and.....
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on
me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it !
>>>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.
Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'.
I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of
the
monitor, but the computer still says it can't find
it...
>>>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: I have problems printing in red ...
Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
>>>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in
the supermarket.
>>>>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
Customer: It's not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but
nothing's happening.
>>>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why are call centerCustomer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces
back.
Customer: OK
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah ... that
one does work!
>>>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in
apple, a Capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
>>>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A customer couldn't get on the Internet: -
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I watched my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
>>>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry ... Internet Explorer.
>>>--------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: I have a huge problem.
A friend has placed screensaver on my computer, but
every time I move the mouse, it disappears !
>>>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech Support, may I help you?
Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours
for you.
Can You please tell me how long it will take before
you can help me?
Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your
problem?
Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help
button more than 4 hours ago.
Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?
>>>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter " a ", but how do I
get the circle around it?
[SMILE ALWAYs]
TAKE A LOOK
Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on
the Open Desktop."
Customer : "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you
see a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what
you have done up until this point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click'
and I wrote 'click'."
----------------------------------------
Customer : "I received the software update
you sent, but I am still getting the same error
message."
Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it
to get it to work?"
--------------------------------------------------
Customer : "I'm having trouble installing
Microsoft Word."
Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and
tell me what it says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore
and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup
disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."
--------------------------------------------------
.Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your
software?"
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)
--------------------------------------------------
Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand
side of the screen, canyou see the 'OK' button
displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen
from there?"
Tech support : ##### ***
--------------------------------------------------
Tech Support : "What type of computer do you
have?"
Customer : "A white one."
Tech support : ******_____####
--------------------------------------------------
. Tech Support : "What operating system are
you running?"
Customer : "Pentium."
Tech support : ////-----+++
--------------------------------------------------
Customer : "My computer's telling me I
performed an illegal abortion."
Tech support : ??????
--------------------------------------------------
Cus tomer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Tech Support : ?!%#$
--------------------------------------------------
Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"
Tech support : ??????
--------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's
a problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
--------------------------------------------------
. Tech Support : "What does the screen say
now?"
Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support : "Well?"
Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"
Tech support : *** ---- ++++
--------------------------------------------------
customer care officer:I need a product
identification number right now and may I help u in
finding it out?
Cust: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find
'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I
find your computer?
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette
out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, nothing happens, it must be
really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it
yet...it's still on my desk... sorry .
>>>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the
left of the screen.
Customer: Is that your left or my left?
>>>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and.....
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on
me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it !
>>>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.
Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'.
I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of
the
monitor, but the computer still says it can't find
it...
>>>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: I have problems printing in red ...
Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
>>>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in
the supermarket.
>>>>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
Customer: It's not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but
nothing's happening.
>>>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why are call centerCustomer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces
back.
Customer: OK
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah ... that
one does work!
>>>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in
apple, a Capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
>>>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A customer couldn't get on the Internet: -
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I watched my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
>>>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry ... Internet Explorer.
>>>--------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: I have a huge problem.
A friend has placed screensaver on my computer, but
every time I move the mouse, it disappears !
>>>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech Support, may I help you?
Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours
for you.
Can You please tell me how long it will take before
you can help me?
Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your
problem?
Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help
button more than 4 hours ago.
Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?
>>>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter " a ", but how do I
get the circle around it?
[SMILE ALWAYs]
